let's go, 2017.

the last time i wrote here, it was about the difficulty of adjusting to a working adult's life. four months have passed since i last posted here, and it's the new year now. since then, i've officially landed myself a full-time job; aged significantly (mentally, as that's what working at Mossery does to you) yet somehow still retained my rather annoying (to others) energetic self; felt far away from the church, missed it dearly, came back and still felt a bit of a distance but am eternally thankful for friends whom i can pick up a conversation with at any given time; and got into no relationships (no duh).

so, here's a brief list of what i've done this year. not because everyone is doing it, but because i want to document it and look back at it one day. also because i have pretty awful memory.

in no particular order:

1. worked with Sketch Post. from smaller, private functions to massive illustrated boards sent to the US for a convention, and having eaten at Nobu KL this year plus a few other fancy places without actually realising the incredible quality of food at the given moment. (also tried quinoa for the first time. i quite liked it.)


2. interview with Mossery for my academic internship there and eventually interning + working with them. 


• spent four days pre-actual-internship at Penang with Jun, Vivian, and Saloni. it was definitely the most interesting way to start my internship experience.
• learned heaps over the course of 6 months (internship + probation) - from the creative to the technical sides of everything at work.
• hung out way too much with my colleagues talking about death, outer space, aliens, among other things.
• learned a little bit of everything: coding, illustrator, photography, etc. hoping to learn more this year and master some skills!
• three times to Singapore this year with the team, and every time was a unique experience.
• brought the entire team to watch Esther, and the supper that followed after was a very interesting conversation i can never quite forget. (:
• had (and am still having) incredibly up-close and honest relationships with people at work. if it wasn't for people who are brave enough to be honest with me, i would not be a better person, nor would i be consciously working on myself. grateful.


3. worked freelance very very briefly and earning my first thousand bucks from a single job.


4. first time going to Indonesia to attend my first international wedding (:


5. The Sam Willows concert at The Bee, watched Into The Woods (live musical), saw Saturday Afternoon live a couple of times, went for The Impatient Sisters' music video launch, etc.


6. directed a full-fledged play on campus. incredibly grateful for people who are talented, teachable, and infinitely helpful with all things. even when i didn't openly ask for help, the community just came to assist. also performed a song live at the end of both nights of the show.


7. volunteered to teach 6-year-old kids graphic recording / sketch-noting over a period of 6 weeks during their once-a-week after-school extra class.


8. lost my grandpa (mom's dad).


9. chalked an entire wall in my church premise, also chalked my front porch. fell in love with chalk quite a bit. hoping to explore this medium a lot more this year.


10. The Last One Awake's intimate album listening party. i was surprised why i was even invited. gasp.


11. talked about priorities and responsibilities in church towards the end of the year and decided to let go of some stuff i had taken part in. it was tough, but i knew i had to let go before everything went to ruins with me not focussing on helping out at all. 


12. met amazing talents in person whom i never quite thought would come across - Angelyn, Marissa, Christian, Kevin Hagino, Si Hui, Shannon, just to name a few.


13. graduated from university, after 4 years of studying Literature and Gender Studies. i miss the ever-enriching discussions in class about all things human. 
• also did a graduation photoshoot with my friends from Bitesize Visuals!


14. worked with Idea Ink briefly as well - the Millenial 20-20 event was a definite eye-opener to graphic recording and honing my skills in that area particularly.


15. brother got married. woohoo!


16. got my first ever fountain pen from Jun and Vivian for my birthday this year. also got mutiple-layered surprises from my friends who knew i hated large crowds. i felt immensely loved this year on my birthday, and was grateful for every single person who bothered to wish me well.

2017 is a year of seeking discomfort for me. i've been running away from many problems in the past years, and though i tell others to be honest, i haven't been quite honest with myself entirely. we choose things to talk about, to see, to hear, to process, and we filter the rest to be archived forever. this year, i want to live an unfiltered life. i want to be straight-up honest with myself - whether it's in how bad i write, or how much i want to buy a silly thing because it makes me happy - i want to be completely honest. i want to make things because i want to, i want to be happy because it makes me happy, and i want to follow God because He's given me life.

some things i want to focus more on this year:

1. identify problems and solve them head on, instead of pretending that they're not there.
• i realised towards the end of the year that i had a terrible habit of pretending that problems aren't really there, especially if they're smallish problems that doesn't seem to be causing any harm or damage. i'm going to learn to speak up on these little things, because i've said it myself so many times that the little things matter the most.


2. believe in others and your(my)self.
• give the benefit of doubt to others. love my neighbour as myself. stretching on love rather than passing judgment. 


3. be involved.
• another bad habit i noticed is that i tend to shrink back and do nothing when i see others be involved. this is true in leadership terms. i'm the kind of person who balances out the atmosphere, so if someone else is loud, i'll speak less. if someone else is leading the team very apparently, i'll stand back. i think being less involved made me a passive leader, and as much as i believe that every leader has a style of their own, i also believe that if i push myself to get involved in different activities, i stand an equal chance in growing as well.


4. don't hold back.
• this one's a dangerous one, because it might wear me out. another habit to kill is the spirit of procrastination. i tend to avoid doing things that require more effort than i had expected, and i want to go against that current this year. be extra bold, extra courageous, extra crazy, and push myself all the way. rest is important, but this year is about getting productive (not busy!) in everything i am called to do.

change only happens when action is taken.

no empty words this year. embrace change.

twenty fourteen.

the wrap-up of the year. 

this year has been a roller coaster. i've had crushes on people on such a frequent basis that at some point i thought i was just so desperate for some sort of love. finally took the time at the end of the year, when coming back to university, to really get to know people and not care about whatever feelings i had for whoever for once. again and again i was reminded to enjoy the process and not worry about the results. i love the friendships that i have right now, and i can't wait to do more stuff with these people (and others!) next year.

it has been emotional as well. there were many tragedies that happened to Malaysia, but moreover, many that happened within the vicinity of my life. friends and cousins lost their parents or relatives, and i couldn't help but to feel that God was somehow preparing me for some sort of calamity. i can't say i've gotten used to deaths, but it's not as unknown to me anymore, and i'm really just not sure if that's a good thing.

other than that, i found myself being in places that i never thought would be in this year. often times i felt like a stranger, tagging along for the ride, when i hardly knew what was going on. it really just felt like God wanted me to be there at these times. i got to know people whom i had to eventually say goodbye to because either they left or i did. i made friends with people i never thought i could ever befriend, and i shared these really significant memories with people who probably treasured it a lot more than i did. nevertheless, i'm thankful for where He has placed me at these particular times as i got to share very precious moments with some very precious people. i'm very very grateful for that.

i also went traveling a lot this year! which is a brand new experience for me. here are the stuff i did and the places i went:

1. i went to Singapore all on my own (for the first time after 10 years) for my student's exchange experience, and i think this experience really built my confidence to travel and explore places a lot more. i fumbled around with so many things i never did in my life (handling laundry ALL BY MYSELF) and did things i never would have possibly done unless i had the 'i'm only going to do this once in a lifetime mindset' (daylight clubbing at Singapore's Holi Festival, haha)

2. went to Philippines for the first time in my LIFE with two girls (one Malaysian and one Filipino who took us around, hee) and did all the crazy things. they were such great travel partners, and we had really encouraging and deep conversations about life, it was just such a good session with them. being at El Nido was also one of the most breath-taking experiences, because not only did i swim through a hole in the rock cliff, but i got to see the clearest waters i have ever set my eyes upon. the entire experience was so memorable that it can still feel like i just came back yesterday!

3. a 4-day-3-nights trip to Penang (also after a very long time not visiting the bustling state) with a Singaporean friend whom i wasn't precisely close to but definitely got closer to during the trip! loved the intellectual conversations we had from gender to just plain talking about boys, hahahaha. having her for the trip really made it so much more memorable. so glad to for her to have fallen in love with a city in Malaysia (:

4. this one doesn't really count as a trip, but i went for my first ever conference that isn't in church! the East Asia Regional Conference (EARC) was spectacular, because i got to see people from so many countries and cultures worshiping one God with all of their hearts. it was so beautiful, every time we had a worship session in a different language. hearing stories from all the representatives and just making new friends was so much fun as well. this was a very memorable experience for me, because this was the first campus event i joined after coming back from Singapore, and i had felt so out of place. but i found God again in this conference, and He assured me that i belonged on my campus, and it all changed so rapidly when i went back to university in September.

and if you didn't read any of those, here are some lovely people whom i shared very fond memories with this year:

you've been great, 2014. i've had some of my lowest moments this year, but i cherish them all. the good and the bad times. the company. every single waking moment of fleeting emotions, i felt them and i'm ready to feel more. 

New Year's resolution every year: 

be more fearless.

four: welcome to the hype.

 so my friend brought me to Singapore's East Coast Park yesterday. it's huge, having to bike around the park to probably actually finish going around the park (and it took my friend 2 hours to reach the other end the last time she was here.) 

leaving, the sound of the ocean.

return, to the timeless waves of the seas.

swallow me, sand.

take me home.

(that's Li Synn. she brought me to East Coast Park :D)

one step at a time now; i've got you.

the rush of adrenaline and the brief moment before you crash into the water.

waiting.

we've waited for so long, my dear.

thank you, for waiting alongside me. thank you so much.

(this photo has been edited to look like an older photograph)

(this was on rental for $30. gah money-sucker. 

we almost wanted to rent one until we heard the price.)

let the real fun, begin. 

possibly my favorite shot of the day, because this other Malay dude skater was just walking in front of me as i capture this shot haha. lovin' this moment.

this boy and a few other really young scooter-ers(wha) were really good at what they did! 

they did so many incredible tricks i really just lost count. gah kids.

mad respects for this kid because he was so polite about people stopping his skateboard from rolling away or even apologizing when he almost knocked kids down or anything. really proved the stereotype wrong. (:

glad to know that skater kids who are genuinely passionate about this sport do exist :D

respect!

also really love this one for some reason.

this is also one of the funniest and most dynamic photos i caught. this guy was trying to do the same trick over and over again but he couldn't quite perfect it. 

my friend and i were just looking at him, waiting for him to succeed, but we left before he did it.

end and rest.

shooting people skate at the park was a fun experience--but i've learned my lesson to be more flexible and not so disgustingly attached to my 50mm lens but switch to a good ol' kit lens for outdoor shooting. i'll try to do that the next time, provided there's copious amounts of sunshine. (I HATE LOW-LIGHT CONDITIONSSSSSSSS) anyhow, just another photo blog post. will do more shoots soon :D maybe a campus one next?

class tomorrow! see y'all!

one: speed.

i think the ultimate thing to cope with here in Singapore is the speed. everything is so FAST. i don't think there's anything else to keep up with other than the speed of the things going on here. everything is so quick and efficient that it gets to you to make you feel like you need to be quick and efficient also. even physically everyone naturally just walks at a faster pace than in Malaysia. i suppose that's the starkest difference in culture. 

anyways, this is officially my first weekend here in Singapore, and my friend took me out for a tour around SG yesterday! on Friday my other friend brought me around Bugis and today i was at church but i didn't take photos for both of these.

this is probably my most favorite SG hang out place so far : Haji Lane!

most of the shops/boutiques here open at noon time, so i can only imagine that this is possibly one of  the most laid-back parts of Singapore. when we were there the shops weren't opened yet so we didn't get to visit any, but i am certainly going back to this place to snap more photos in the future! (and make friends :D)

this building we chanced upon by accident had a strange European, Great Gatsby-ish kind of feel to it. it was a business building but it looked like a massive tower of evil. and then it had these really funny bronze statues, varying from Plato, Mozart, Sun Yat-Sen to many others. also it had this. this "Party Hard" (as i'd love to call it) Greek-esque wall sculpture thing. it reminded me so much of Hercules. and maybe Michael Jackson.

this shot was taken at the 10th floor of Singapore's National Library! my friend brought me to the library and even though we didn't have time to explore the entire building (more than 10 floors, go figure), i picked to go to their Gallery and we walked around for just a bit. the building has glass windows/walls so you can imagine how awesome it looks like. 

stepping into a real cathedral for the first time in SG! this is St. Andrew's Cathedral, where they had legit pews and tinted windows. this is probably my favorite shot/place of the day too! (other than Haji Lane/Kampong Glam, heh)

Gardens By The Bay @ Marina Bay Sands. 

also one of my favorite shots of the day. i imagined a wedding shoot to happen on this bench, or just some sort of shoot that depicted a varying spectrum of emotions. somehow this bench and its positioning spoke so much to me. amidst a busy, fast-going city, this bench--white-washed and lonely, is placed here, away from perhaps, many other lonely benches in the park. this was taken from a bridge that took us into the park, and many people were taking pictures of the city or the huge artificial plant-like structures that Gardens by the Bay were known for, but i saw this bench. i saw you.

creepy baby alert.

this bronze-and-steel sculpture made by Marc Quinn is a form of art so strange and impossible, because the entire sculpture sits on one hand, and nothing else touches the ground. it seems so weightless despite the size and mass,

also, honest opinion: how is this not creepy? imagine walking into this larger-than-life sculpture at night. boom. there goes your heart and soul.

these are some of the shots we took of the abandoned buildings that we were supposed to visit, but it turns out this place was already taken over by the military, so we couldn't enter the premises. so here, have some cool shots from outside the fence instead. now everything looks trapped and isolated.

oh look, luxurious food in UTown! (yes these are within UTown premises, not even NUS itself haha) and i think we have a Starbucks somewhere too. 

the art of stalking people.

i took these shots while i was walking back to my college/room. i think i'll do this more often. i met a guy who's a professional photographer and he's practicing how to take candid pictures of people accurately without them noticing. i should start doing that as well (:

onward to more adventures in Singapore!

am going into campus tomorrow, so i'll try to not look too much like a tourist.