truth.

i believe in alternate realities. different versions of time when we make 'the other decision' happen. entirely different worlds with the same people (or not) based on the decisions we did not make and the roads we did not take. i like to believe in that. 

i also believe in perspective. i believe that there is no one version of truth, but more than one, or sometimes, none at all. i believe in what we choose to believe in. what i dislike is arrogance and ignorance. i believe in accepting different versions of truth; yet sometimes it cannot be helped, and we are so absorbed in our own versions of truth that we often refuse to believe otherwise. we become arrogant and ignorant, and i hope i never become like that. 

the truth is said to be naked, ugly and harsh.

however, honesty happens to be the best policy as well.

human sayings are simply strange and contradicting.

precisely like different versions of truth.

what exactly do we want? do we want to be filled with lies consisting of compliments and comforting words, or the bare-naked truth of who we truly are or a mixture of both? often we would grab the final answer, yet as often as that answer is taken, nobody simply wants to face the truth. preference will always exist. truth will too. there isn't such a thing as equal love, especially not when you are only human. one will always be better than the other, and people will always dislike something about someone else. 

then why?

why is it so hard to tell someone the truth?

because we don't want to hurt them? or is it because we don't want to take responsibility and feel guilty afterward for whatever happens next? which is the true fear in your head, in your heart?

i for one, am afraid of rejection and alienation. i refuse to tell people off sometimes about their bad habits or simply a quality they possess which i dislike, because i am afraid that the relationship will end there and then when i speak of the truth in my mind. i am afraid that when i tell someone my version of truth, i am about to sever the relationship we have, or at least, alter or distort it in some way. i imagine myself with a pair of scissors trying to cut the string that holds us together. i imagine myself deliberately trying to ruin a great friendship.

i imagine myself very much alone when it all ends.

worse yet, i imagine myself feeling satisfied of what i may have done, for the slightest moment. and then i drown in guilt and remorse, inflicting pain upon myself for doing such a thing. 

maybe that's what i'm truly afraid of. 

whatever that comes after the possible severing of a particular relationship due to the truth i tell them. 

p/s: sometimes i am inspired to write dark things, 

and sometimes these things turn out to be good.

 dark things are considered art too.

 just like how horror movies are considered as a movie genre as well. 

i appreciate your good nature of wanting to comfort me 

or seeking me to ask me if i am okay, and i will tell you this and now : 

i am perfectly fine and this is my version of truth.