always the little things.

to sit on the bus next to you, taking in all of the beauty God has created, and that you have captured, from within your magical electronic box that is known as an iPhone. quietly you scrolled through the photos you took, each instilled with flooding wonders of amazing views that is Japan, explaining bits here and there while smiling, thinking back about your vacation. i peered through the window on your phone through to another dimension, stared at the loveliest yellow flowers and purple lavenders that was only beginning to bloom, and wondered about my dream to go to Japan one day. 

to walk towards the end of the pier when everyone else was busy talking and taking pictures to be stored as memories, and just listen to the ocean speak to me. its waves rolling in and out since the beginning of time, its depths unknown and filled with life--once, but not anymore. now filled with filth and garbage, my heart wept a moment for the sea creatures that was once majestic and glorified, as they too are creations of God. the sunset was calming, and for a very brief moment, you thought the wind was the sky breathing, huffing breaths of cool breezes onto your cheeks, like a father would do to his daughter, to cheer her up. it was quiet, and it was breathtaking to be alone with God.

to sit in near to complete darkness, seeing that the roads were lit only with the overly-bright orange streetlights which glared at our faces. the bus droned through the winding roads, threatening to lull us into sleep. but i refused to close my eyes, for i was wide-awake, happily listening to you speak. the enthusiasm in your voice, the dreams and hopes in your voices, it made my insides feel warm, my internal organs hugging one another tighter, as though recognizing and acknowledging your aspirations. i could only imagine the day we would part ways and return home, connected only through the digital universe. so i just listened, silently, and tried to pin down how your voices sounded like, like how i would write down favorite quotes or lyrics in a book.

to drown myself in quietness, to be away from the crowd when i was awfully confused and swarmed with mixed feelings. it was strange to see people recover from such emotional news rather quickly, while i needed time with God to put things down, set things aside and really realize what was going on with my life. these were not the most important people of my life, but their loss had impacted my mediocre life anyways. and i felt the grief. the pain. above all, i felt the emptiness. i knew how it feel, to lose somebody, to not be able to see them for the rest of your entire lifetime. it's always a surreal experience. but we pick ourselves up with Your help, so i wrote and wrote and wrote, and You listened. You never left me, not even for a single, fleeting moment. 

to stop in a crowd of more than six hundred, to watch people hug and laugh, speak and cry, it became a memory that was etched so clearly into my mind. you gave me one of the longest, warmest hug one could ever ask for, and i was never so comforted. the warmth that passed through our bodies was soothing. if only everyone could give sincere hugs like these. i could feel Your warmth, through Your people. 

it's always, always the littlest things, that makes the biggest differences.