when you plunge yourself into a life of servitude, you forget to worship. you forget to stand in awe of your Creator and all the amazing things He had created.
i sat here.
i sat here thinking who or what i miss the most at this very moment.
me.
that's who i miss the most.
i miss being able to draw without a purpose, to be led by inspiration or just my crazy imagination. i miss creating worlds that i would never live in. i miss fabricating characters that i hope to meet someday in real life. i miss not having to think about work or the outcome of work all the time. i miss just randomly being nice to people i love and people i don't know, instead of wanting to deliberately plan projects.
i mean, it's nice being purposeful and making conscious efforts, but it's tiring.
it's tiring wanting to work all the time, and i've forgotten how important it is to literally just stop, and smell the flowers, and not care about work for a while. i haven't completely let go before. i haven't surrendered it all to God. i'm still trying, very much, to work on my own. to put effort. to try really hard.
when really, i just need to remind myself that i can be nice to myself too.
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