another one.

so here's the thing.

(i feel like i start my blogposts too many times with that phrase)

attraction doesn't work the way you(re:i) think it does.

stop it. stop posting things online hoping that the person you've been crushing on would suddenly notice your online presence and realize, 'wow, i never knew this person liked R&B too, omg, i think i'm falling for them!' stop hovering around them physically, tiptoeing your way around their friends hoping that they would hear how cute your giggle sounds (because you practiced all night) or notice that you put on that tie today especially for them (which you spent more than 30 ringgits on, so they better see it). stop being that person you know you'll run away from if you found out they're attracted to you.

just don't.

be goofy. be silly. be loud. be reserved. be shy. most importantly, be all of yourself. be that person you want to meet and get to know so much better. and oh, there's a difference between being yourself, and being a hyper-extension of yourself. you're good enough. you don't have to up the perkiness or the intelligent talks. you're where you are, and you're perfectly imperfect. we all are. they are too, the person you're attracted to. we're all flawed. i know this is said too many times on a daily basis already, but can you please just stop putting up a front and just be yourself?

no, i'm not saying you should stop dressing well or suddenly be so wary of the way you project yourself to others. just be okay. wear that dress, if you feel like it. feel sad, if you're not having the greatest day. don't be peer-pressured into trying something you know you absolutely don't want to venture into. do it when you know you're ready to try it. take risks you know you kind of can handle. don't be the other person's perfect version of who they're attracted to--or what you think it may be, really.

stop lying to yourself.

you're not a big-eater.
you're not a music person.
you hate dancing.
you don't even like to go to bars.
you think spending money on fine dining is crazy.

you could be anyone of these people or none of it, but just stop trying to convince yourself that this person you're attracted to won't like you. or the way you think. if they do, they do. if they don't, be their friend. and yet, at the same time, if you do end up having mutual attraction, allow space for change too. be open.