one step at a time.

you should know by now that i'm not the most rational, clear-headed person in the world. not even close. i have always been emotional. melancholic. not dramatic, but overly-sensitive in a way. recently i've been trying to deal with that more seriously, not wanting to let my emotions take steer of my life and let it bring me through waves of intense ups and downs.

the deduction?

it's 

not

easy.

of course it's not. handling your emotions is not as easy as dealing with the physical. you can't just move things around like you would to reorganize your room. don't we all wish it was that easy? that we can throw Mild Depression into the garbage bin, then replace it with Contentment and water it with some Gratefulness to grow it into Joy or Happiness? that we can just hose Anger down, tear Misery apart and put Disappointment, Past Hurts, and Future Worries underneath our beds, where we don't have to see them?

we wouldn't be human.

yet at the same time, 

we can't let them take over. because the moment you let go of rationality and that bit of clear-headedness that you have left, you'll run on an overdrive of emotions, driving you straight into insanity as you tackle everyone down your path. that's not going to be a pretty sight.

i'm writing this now because i promised to be honest everywhere--not just in real life, but also on social media. emotions swarm over me all the time, but every time i learn to take control and not let them take over my entire being. like right now: although 80% of my body is saying i feel unloved, and i just feel like absolutely not doing anything, the other 20% of myself is trying to gain the upper hand, telling myself to work, to do stuff anyways, to keep myself in place in spite of the emotions shouting in my inner ears. i want to be honest with you, because i know i'm not the only one. we may not experience the exact same events or occurrences, but rest assured, you're certainly not the only one feeling like an ocean of mess.

i'm simply writing this to let you know, it's okay. it's okay to be emotional, but just like myself, learn how to counter it. i'm not asking you to pretend that all your emotions cease to exist. i'm asking you to try to listen to yourself clearly, what you really want and need to do in your life. are your emotions saying the same? usually they don't. usually, Panic and Anxiety lie to you, telling you that you're worthless and you won't be able to handle anything. but don't forget about your core. Hope will tell you to hold on. Faith will try to catch you when you fall. all of your dreams and hopes lie in your core, so don't let your emotions override that and take you on an endless roller-coaster ride which will lead you to nowhere. 

go on an actual adventure. ask Chance to hold your hand, and Trust, too. take a risk. take a leap.

don't just stay here anymore.

it's not easy,

but i promise you

it's not a journey you need to take alone.

it's hard, but choose to focus on the good. 

you need to choose to do it.