don't forget.

RM36.58.

That's how much you've spent, just the 3rd day into March.

you sit in frustration, going through your to-do list obsessively to make sure that you didn't forget anything. again. and yet, it happens. again. it's the third time this week now that you've forgotten to do something major--or was it the fourth? your to-do list only grows endlessly like a shadow at dusk, threatening to swallow your journal pages whole with all its dictatorial check boxes.

check.
check.
check.

more things to do.

you're not upset because there are so many things to do; you're upset because it feels like everything is buzzing past you, always leaving you gasping for breath, one step behind. you're not sure how to handle all the emotional breakdowns that seems to be scheduled in your coming weeks by your body. you know you're going to make it through, you're just not entirely keen to go through it.

'pain is inevitable, suffering is optional,' you reminded yourself, as you half-believed the motivational quote you just fed to your brain. a cauldron of uncertainty bubbles up in your chest, spilling over occasionally, but not ever entirely. you think through every single priority, project, plan, and person. you desperately hope that you didn't miss anything or anyone out. you'd hate that. you hate forgetting because you never want anyone to be left behind. you also hate being left behind, because that would mean you would be eventually forgotten.

two months. 8 more weeks of this.

you hope to God you don't forget anymore things.

though you're pretty sure it'll happen along the way.

//

hello! this is me writing about myself in second person's narrative! *throws confetti* basically about how i was today and for the past week. i'm only at Week 2 in my final semester for now, and i'm already kinda stressed out.

but i'm alright. i'll be fine. God's got my back.