a not-so-radical notion.

i always like to think that God puts us all here in His world for a reason. and never, never for a useless reason. i for one, has yet to discover why exactly God has placed me where i am today. i major in English Literature in a local university known as Universiti Malaya, otherwise also famous for its ancientness as it is the oldest university in Malaysia. (i don’t know the exact number, but it’s definitely more than a century old) (my mistake, Universiti Malaya was established in 1949. thanks for pointing out, Ru Jun!) i come from a pretty fortunate family with parents who think we never have enough (which is true and untrue in many aspects). i have an elder brother—four years elder to be exact—and a handful of friends whom i completely trust and love. i love to sing, draw, dance, eat, and a good number of other things (except for sports). i identify myself as a heterosexual female. i am also very in love with animals.

today, Cik Maimuna brings in a couple of men to talk to us about their opinion on feminism, masculinity and what men can do about helping in feminism. two men from very different and diverse backgrounds with several similarities, i find them both very interesting and furthermore emphasizing on the fact that we as a human race, are not homogenous.

Nicol comes from Brickfields, he tells us. turning 19 this year, he has quit school and is now helping out in a Burmese refugee school in Kepong(Mother’s School). he grew up in a violent family, but his mother was not one to step back when she was hit by his father. at some point they divorce, and he is raised solely by his mother. Nicol identifies himself as a homosexual man. he likes to write. he does not have a phone and thinks technology is the reason why the earth is gradually being destroyed. he thinks feminism is giving women a platform to voice out their opinion, to have freedom of expression.

Jules also comes from a family of abuse. his father would hit any woman. when he was physically big enough, he fought back, and his mother divorced him. he got himself a scholarship to study Biology in America but now he is a documentary filmmaker/journalist. Jules is shy, and loves animals more than people, but he realizes that none of these world problems he knows of will end or be resolved if one continues to simply withdraw from any conflict and wish for peace. his opinion is that feminism is simply to look at women as human beings, just as men are.

the great thing i realize about these two men is that they both grew up in violent families, but they did not grow up to be like their fathers. studying Gender and Masculinity, one of the chapters in the book we read says that boys are very likely to imitate their fathers from a very young age, but these two men you just read about completely overturns that assumption. not only did they not follow in their fathers’ footsteps, but they are now also standing up for women’s rights, protecting them instead of harming them. it’s people like these who truly bring hope to me, and the world. humble people who are willing to help their community.

Nicol spoke of looking at women not as a homogenous group, but as different women. women who are rich, women who are poor, women of colour, women who do not need to do a thing to earn money, women with a family to feed. he also asked a very good question : when a middle class, female medical student was raped in India, everyone came out to protest on the streets. why didn’t anyone protest before or after that, for other people? what about the other women and girls who are raped and abused and sexually assaulted from the slums, from China, from South Asia, from places you have never even heard before?

the thing about feminism, i believe, is really not about standing up for women’s rights. it’s not just that. i think it’s so much more and so much less than that. so much more in a way because it’s more than just women’s rights, but also to protect them, educate them, love them. so much less in a way because we shouldn’t be just joining international movements that are shaking the scene or famous NGOs. we should be helping the women and girls around us. look around. look harder. they’re there. they need as much help as those people from overseas do. start reaching out for your neighbours first, then your community, then your state, your nation, your continent, your world.

start small. believe me, you will change someone’s life. 

and eventually, you will change many peoples’ lives.