there are days when you feel unbelievably defeated by your own self-esteem, mostly because of your lady hormones but partly because some of those feelings never really go away. they need to stay for a reason. no one feels completely victorious one hundred percent of the time. there are reasons why we find ourselves feeling so undeniably lost(in both sense) in the middle of our lives.
today is one of those days for me.\
on days like today, you feel uninspired, dead beat, exhausted, and just tired of the bright and colourful world outside. you just want to sit in front of your laptop, switch on that new tv show you've always wanted to watch but never made time to, and binge on Baskin Robbins, Ben&Jerry's or any ice-cream of your choice. you stuff your face full with cookies and milk, but you still feel a void within. some part of you is missing today, just today. and you can't seem to find it anywhere at all. suddenly your soul seems like a vast expanse: an endless rolling desert dune or eternal waves of the Indian Ocean--you don't know.
you wander.
however, it is also particularly one of those days when it is so much easier for your spirits to be lifted up. to be made happy, to be encouraged, to be praised, to be complimented, to be said very nice things to, to be stuffed with deliciously expensive comfort food--it's just so much easier on depressing days such as this. one cat video, one conversation with a good friend, one quiet night out with good company, one cheesy book/movie--just one simple thing, will cure you. it kicks you into euphoria. you sometimes hate how you fall from mood to mood so quickly, but it's better to be feeling joy than sorrow, you think.
i hope my encouragement comes soon.
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