if you've stuck around enough to read my recent posts, you'd know that i haven't written anything happy or joyful in more than a month now. i'm in that place where i'm really looking for my passion again, and more than anything, i'm finding it a little bit hard to feel happy. sure i've felt happy when i'm with my friends doing stupid things that our youth has called us to do, but these moments come and go, and the joy hasn't found a way to stick, to stay.
i've also been having some sort of block on drawing and writing since who knows when, and it's really just difficult for me to draw or write anything that is satisfying to myself. i don't know if i'm being too hard on myself or the inspiration just isn't working, or both. singing and dancing has made me felt a little better, but it hasn't made me feel the way i would when i lose myself writing or drawing.
these times come and go. Passion doesn't always stay, and i always need to make the conscious effort to find her, again and again. so yes, she's been away from my life for a while now, and i need some sort of miracle for her to come back. i know it's going to happen eventually, but meanwhile, i'm just here, not reading much, not doing much, unless i'm told to. other people's ideas seem much more brilliant at this point. whenever i want to write something or draw something, i think: "what's the point?" yet i also have this post-it that's right next to my laptop saying "ignore the question 'what's the point?' and look at beautiful things".
i need to go back to being a little foolish and innocent again.
or a lot.
come back soon, dear Passion.
1 comment:
Dear Xinwei. You're one of the most positive and wise people I know and I'm sorry you're going through this tough period.
But here's the thing. Sometimes you can't just wait for passion - you kind of have to go after it.
Lately I've been feeling the same way with my stories, which I haven't worked on in ages, and I feel uninspired, but I know it will only happen if I force myself to sit down and work on them. So maybe a little firm self-discipline is needed? Who cares if it isn't great? Who cares if it isn't even passably good? As long as we're getting it out there, out of our heads, we're still getting practice right? We're still honing our craft, aren't we? Just keep pecking away at it.
Joy and Passion don't always stick - they're hard work, and I think a lot of it has to do with us creating them ourselves - so just keep up the energy to at least make some little pecks each day :)
xx
Post a Comment