unpopular.

it took me a long time to finally realize and acknowledge it, but here's the thing: i'm not called to be popular.

to be painfully honest, i've always wanted to be popular--and at the same time, i never wanted to be popular. i wanted to be liked. i wanted to be the person who would always make a crowd laugh. i want to be the confident girl who is funny, outspoken, and loved by all. but i never wanted to do it, because i've always knew, somehow, that i'm not built to be charismatic, and even if i can, it would be something that is created and not innately in me from the start. it would be a facade.

so today, i hear from God.
i'm not called to be the popular girl.
to be liked by many, to be making people laugh, to be the class clown, to be the most cheerful, optimistic, loud person in the room.

i'm called to be different. quiet, yet powerful.
and by different i don't mean talented, gifted, or out of the ordinary. yes, i could be all of that, but i know what kind of different i am. the sort of person people don't really talk to and laugh about the things i tell them. the sort of person that is so easily overlooked sometimes, because we're so used to being alone. the sort of person who feels like an outcast, who can be forgotten, or placed aside, or less liked because of our overly-specific thoughts and overworked emotions.i know i am called to be different because i was all of these.

i know i am called to be different so that i know who to look out for.
who to not forget. who to not leave behind. who to listen to.

i'm called to be unpopular.
don't get me wrong, this isn't a pity party post fishing for compliments. this is me, telling you how i truly feel. and this me, telling you that maybe, just maybe, you're called to be something else from what you had wanted to be, also. trust me when i say it won't be as bad as you think it might be, for not reaching your expectations of what it should have been--what you should have been. but God has bigger plans, much bigger plans, for all of us. and i take pride in being different, set apart from the usual crowd.

God has a plan for you.