gone are the days when i was oblivious to all things, happy in my tiny little bubble of a world, where i could indulge in all the shallow enjoyments that is foods and comics and songs, without ever risk having let a thought spark and burst into flames, destroying everything in its path.
gone.
i miss not thinking so much. well, i've always thought a lot, but i suppose now i just think about other things. a lot more of other things. i used to think about things that destroy myself. now i think about things that may sever ties between me and the people i know.
my thoughts burn. they light a fire in me that gives me life, but if i'm not careful, this blazing hot fire may burn someone else. not everybody likes my thoughts and wants to be lit aflame. not everybody wants to burn bright like a bonfire, attracting all the attention of the world. most people just want calm lives--and maybe i do too, but something in my mind has been opened, and i cannot close it. it remains opened forever. i can only try to contain it, as much as i can.
as much as i can.
i miss not harming people with my thoughts. it used to be just me hurting myself. now it's potentially hurting others--people i love, people i cherish.
i'll need to keep a bit of a distance.
and try to control these burning thoughts.
you have been warned.
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