i'm proud to say that i know at least one or two people whom i can converse with about almost anything--but not everything just yet. my love for literature and art is not always shared, because it doesn't come off as a universal topic, but i have friends who are very loving and kind, who are willing to listen to me babble, sometimes, about how modernism gives me a headache.
i'm envious, however, of the friendships i see that do not usually occur with me, and sometimes i wonder if i really do want them or not. friendships that involve a lot of laughing, hugging, doing absolutely crazy things, hanging out, complimenting each other. friendships that involve sharing the same interest--as in, the same type of music, or a certain genre of art. i have some of those, but sometimes the intensity of a certain friendship can get me thinking: do i really have a friend whom i can talk to about almost anything, and not hurt or offend them in the process?
yet i am reminded that the best, most lasting friendships, are those that endure hurt. conflict is bound to happen--how we deal with it is what determines the outcome of a friendship.
i have to admit it. i'm envious of others' friendships sometimes. but hey, comparison is the thief of joy. so i shall not ponder too much on this and torture myself.
i still have some of the greatest friends in the world.
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| Here is a picture symbolizing me and my friends. maybe. iunno. |
3 comments:
I think we'd be very lucky to have a friend in one lifetime that can tick ALL the boxes that we want out of a friendship. And maybe that's the beauty of being able to have many friends? Like, I feel that I've become less rigid about the idea of having One Ultimate Best Friend who knows and understands and accepts everything about me 100%.
Some friends are for deep intellectual conversations, another friend could be your emotional confidant. One friend could be there for spontaneous outings etc, another friend might share a passion for X thing that your other friends don't particularly care for. You could see some friends every day and some friends are nothing but months or years of Facebook message logs and emails (but no less meaningful). Some friends might enjoy hugging/cuddling or sharing every detail of their love life with you, others won't. And YOU might be one of those people for someone else. Maybe someone comes to you for the kind of advice or interest or conversation that their other friends can't offer.
I'm still learning, like you, but I think the key when it comes to friendships is not to expect ONE person or ONE friendship to fulfill you. Friendship comes in lots of different flavours and levels of intensity, some last longer than others, some don't expand beyond the place or context where they started (church, uni, internet, etc) but every one of them contributes something to you and your life, I guess. As long as there's mutual respect and appreciation and you both feel like you're better people for having each other in your lives.
^exactly what i wanted to share (:
i personally think that chances of stumbling upon that one friend - who shares the same passion 100% as you do, and hence capable of engaging in conversations regarding anything under the sun, is rare. And who knows, usually when that person comes along, you marry them? :D hehe.
anywho, what I'm saying is that it's ok if you haven't met that one friend like that, im unsure if i have too, but it doesn't really bother me. It used to make me think that way too, how I envied those 'ideal-like' friendships. I've experienced a couple of friendships which sometimes seemed too good to be true at the moment, hence feeling extremely undeservingly rewarded at the moment, however over time, some friendships do fade and it's ok, it's just life happening. From what I've learnt, is to always just live in the moment and embrace it while you're at it. :)
and yea, I used to think too how some friends i engage only certain topics with, others may not be their cup of tea or they just tend to fall under my expectation when i try to share my enthusiasm in certain subjects. However, looking back, I always appreciate them for who they really are. I love how their different personalities and characters are exactly what i need at certain periods of my life, and those traits are those that I can't find in anybody else. I have certain friends who are super YOLO who'd do anything without thinking much, and others could be more laidback, rationale and realistic thus less insane. However I do appreciate them both for both these traits, and I thank God that that's who they are rather than possessing both these traits together at the same time. And whenever I have/need a moment, I'd always run to them just cuz of that individual trait of theirs.
What I'm saying is that, everyone is indeed special in their own way, as cliche as it sounds. But it's true. And the only thing you can do is really be yourself (: cuz people appreciate you for that individual personality or just that quirky trait.
As from reading your blog, I like how you're open to share your thoughts and emotions in public. And it's always nice to see someone who openly shares about certain less popular topics that people'd try to avoid in daily conversations. And the faith element you got there, (Y). Keep it up! Thank you for sharing :)
- p.s. i hope i dont appear as a creepy stalker lol. i really do love reading blogs and i hope this serves as an encouragement to you :) oh and we've met in church! so don't get creeped out haha.
thank you, stranger! i wonder why you'd ID yourself as anonymous though--it only perpetuates the creepiness more hahahahahaha. i'm just kidding. thank you for stopping by and appreciating my writing and thoughts. (:
love both your thoughts. thanks!
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