i think it's my laziness or the lack of opportunities to actually learn how to use my limbs and body parts at playtime as a kid or maybe it's just genetics--no wait, i can't say that, my dad was a lifeguard--but it just seems that i'm not an athletic person.
for too long i've tried to convince myself, maybe if i tried and if i practiced, i would be better at certain sports, like badminton, squash, skateboarding, or swimming. but it's never happened. first of all, i've never had a passion for sports. i was never taught to like it, and i never did like it. it wasn't something i had a problem with--not being taught to like sports, that is. in my later years of adolescence, i realized the galactic amount of suck i had in sports (unless you count marching to be a sport), and i tried to be better. however, here's the second problem: people aren't patient with me. i'm not blaming them, it's honestly just me, i'm two levels of extra suck in terms of sports, which means twice the amount of time and effort to play with me or train me, which also means twice the amount of boredom because you need to make sure i improve in order to play with me. so people, even though they don't say it, show it on their faces, making looks that literally shout "are you kidding me? you can't even make that hit?" and "oh come on, even a kid can jump better than you do." the list goes on.
to put it clearly, my interest in sports is so minute that i hardly take interest in it. i don't watch it on the tv, i don't read much about it, and i only watch sports movies for its feel-good inspirational sensation. otherwise, it goes unnoticed in my life. it's unimportant. being athletic is the last thing i have on my mind, ever. period. (no exaggerations there. it literally is the last thing on the list if i ever compile such a list)
now don't get mad just yet. i don't hate sports. i just don't think about it as much as others do. and it's something i feel like i cannot relate to at all. at all. it's fun, yeah, but i suppose i just don't see the point in it. i mean, i love people who are passionate about things--sports included, but you know how there are just some things in life that you cannot relate to, no matter how hard you try? you can force yourself to feel related to it, but you will never really feel a genuine connection. i don't know, maybe it's an introvert thing for overthinking these things. but i do overthink and i do think that sports is just one of those things that do not matter to me, and it's certainly one of those things that i will never do well in. (unless God suddenly asks me to pick up a baseball bat or something, y'know?)
i have fun doing sports--especially team games and whatnot, but i'm just never really great at it, and i do think that kind of takes away some fun from people who are already good at it, so halfway through it i just kind of feel bad for everyone for having to play with me.
i know, it's not something i can achieve in just a day's time, but i'm just drawing the line here: sports is not my thing. i'm not athletic, and that's perfectly fine.
p/s: i love to dance, though. (but learning routines and choreographies are completely different things altogether. i have more patience in learning and practicing dance, though.)
meanwhile, i'll just jump around goofily like the odd little intro/ambivert that i am.
disclaimer: photos all not mine! c:
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