don't go.

i'm sorry our story ended.

i miss you.

(because i haven't drawn in a while and this simple piece is for my friend who requested this a loooooooong time ago!)

designed for all.

i don't always post my art here, but i think i should. 

here you go.

have a nice day.

here comes the fighter.

often times you find yourself in a rut, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling undeserving, unworthy, and just not good enough for anyone or anything good. let me tell you this : often times i've been there, sitting by your side, doing the same to myself. 

is this a motivational post? maybe. but only because i felt crappy when i came back from dance practice. let me tell you how i felt just now. when i sat down and watched the rest of my friends dancing, the realization of me not being part of this group cuts me. deep. i wondered about dance and my passion for it--if it really exists, and i wondered about things being done too late. beginnings are always the hardest, believe me. it's always the first part, the first time you do something, then the second and third time, that makes you feel so unworthy and just plain bad about everything that you feel like you cannot pull through. that is the very first test you are given whenever you start anything. 

and i am happy, that i inherited the hard-headed-don't-give-up-until-you-die attitude from my dad. 

you know that gut feeling you get when you feel horrible about doing something you kind-of-maybe like and it tells you to stop, give up, and move on? and that it's perfectly okay? of course it's okay, but you ain't gonna' be a fighter if you keep that up with whatever you do. or half the things you do. or even if it's just one thing. it's going to break you from the inside, and you're not even going to notice it. 

my advice? be the fighter.

be that guy you always wanted to be: that fearless guy who does whatever he wants and whenever he wants it. be that guy who perseveres to the end. be the guy who strives through and makes it in the end, surprising every single person who knew him. be the girl who's unafraid, who will not listen to others and falter or fall simply because she grows weary and tired. be that girl. be that man. be the fighter.

be that person who goes into doing a thing that seems so silly to the world, and comes out proving the world wrong by making the biggest or smallest changes in someone else's life/lives. be the life-changer, love-giver, hug-sharer, go-getter. 

i'm not asking you to solve all matters with violence or sheer force. i'm asking you to not give up so easily. ask yourself why you even started doing this in the very first place and contemplate on that reason. if it doesn't seem like a good enough reason for you to continue anymore, then fine, don't. but if it is, and all you want to do is give up because you're so exhausted, then don't. life is a marathon, not a sprint. you can't expect to give your everything for two days then get a month-long rest. life doesn't play fair, but that's what makes it so challenging and interesting. challenges are tough, sure, but God made these challenges for you so you can pass them. imagine a teacher giving a test to their students: would they not set questions accordingly to what the students' had studied? now apply that to God's way of doing things. it is the same.

so pick up those challenges. embrace them. you may end up in bruises, cuts, wounds, but it's the scars that stay and tells each story so clearly. 

so go out there. stop being such a wuss. 

stop sitting around waiting for miracles to fall from the skies.

if you're in the middle of a challenge, don't give up yet.

if you've finished a challenge, start a new one.

if you're in any of these situations above, congratulations, you are a fighter, and you are living your life.

BONUS : a happy song for y'all who're going through some tough times. 

forward.

here comes that time when i give that speech on how time flies and it's about time for me to go back to university life again. as unwilling as all of my university friends would be, it is something i least look forward to. coming back home for four(well, technically three because during Chinese New Year we go back to my parents' hometown) weeks is like getting my old life back. campus life is something i hate and love, a relationship similar to a number of other things in my life, such as food. 

going back to university means work, work, work, work and less sleep. but going back to university also means friends, doing a whole lot more new things and stepping out of my comfort zone. like i said, it's a love/hate relationship.

for the past three weeks i have been watching movies, catching up on the entire Lizzie Bennett Diaries, watching Pushing Daisies, not reading a lot of books, not drawing a lot, and going out quite a lot. which is good. oh and, i've been serving in church as well, which is really exciting because everything is new to me! dancing, hosting(and by hosting i mean the house sort of host not the microphone sort of host, we're more like ushers), drawing/designing, filming for the tiniest bit, and getting to know more people whom i really, really look up to. all is great.

so as much as i am partially afraid/anxious/nervous about going back to university and having a sort of double life again(coming home each weekend proves to be a comfort and a distress sometimes), i am glad. i am glad to even have a university life, and i am glad that i am where i am right now. 

i suppose that is all i have to update you. 

i get particularly lazy when it's the holidays, so i don't really do much. 

looking forward to second semester?

yes and no.

last but not least, have a happy Chinese New Year and a great Valentine's Day!

Heidy.

i asked a friend if i can draw something for her.

she said yes, and that i can draw something that reminds me of her.

this little girl reminds me of her. 

this image reminds me of her spirit, her strength, her will, her heart.

she is a 19-year-old girl who is managing an NGO with her fellow friends.

she is an amazing soul. she inspires me. 

her name is Heidy.

price tag.

put a price tag on one, put a price tag on everything. put a price tag on freedom, on dreams, on hopes, on devastation and disappointments; put a price tag on life. 

everything seems to have a price tag now. everything seems inappropriate and unbelievable without a price tag. everything seems to MUST come with a price tag. and the prices are not low, not low at all. all prices are rising, all values the same, i am earning none yet still paying for more. life of a campus student, woot woot!

real stars, Kayleigh.

so i finished Across The Universe. 

and Harley's my favorite character.