Purpose.

all week long i've been reminded of perseverance. to persevere in all things. to be patient, to push on, to keep on asking, to never, ever give up.

Perseverance.

that's right, with a freaking capital P.

today our lecturers met up with us to talk about how the English Course is getting lesser intakes every year, so this year, being our lucky year, we're told to only take one stream of the supposedly two existing ones. okay, let me tell you about the English Course in the Arts and Social Sciences Faculty of Malaya University. the English Course is basically separated into two streams as we enter the 2nd semester--English Studies and English Literature. the first stream focuses on the English language while the latter focuses on, well, literature.

let me set some things straight first, though.

1. i don't consider myself as someone who is amazing in the language of English. i mean, really, look at my blog. look at the words i use. look at the puny size of my vocabulary. i'm not.

2. furthermore, i certainly do not consider myself as someone who is knowledgeable in the field of English Literature. at all.

but there's a reason why i wanted to get into the English Course of the Arts and Social Sciences Faculty. i wanted to do literature. i wanted to learn. i was going somewhere where i thought i could learn all sorts of cool and awesome (again, note my vocab, it's not that fabulous) facts and theories on English Lit.

today, i am stripped of my freedom.

today, i am a minority.

(this is sounding like a really terrible dramatic post. i apologize.)

yet it's true. due to the little amount of intakes we have this year, the department is forced to only teach one stream as they are low on manpower as well. (teaching a class of four would be tedious) i understand the intention, the reason behind all of this, but--well, i just feel sort of cheated. it's really not the prettiest word i would use. i just feel hurt.

look where all of this has brought us to, though. i'm here, blogging about it. i'm talking about my feelings. i'm still believing, still holding on, still persevering. sure, i feel like crap, but really, that will pass and i'll still have to come back to reality. things will get better, because they always do.

just a rant. life moves on.